"Safe Words" and Getting to the Point.

May 16 2025

Does the sentence in this quote feel like you? Congratulations! You are the subject of this little entry today.

I had a talked with a friend a month ago about conversations that people have and what purpose they fulfill. The gist of it was that I was frustrated with how the general civilian population completes their sentences with a barrage of filler words that ultimately add nothing to the idea or feeling they're trying to express. We discussed how in the Army, everyone develops a habit of always being down-to-business with what they mean to say. I like it a lot. It's a good thing and it's appropriate.

But, it makes me think about why people do the things they do in conversation. It's no secret that I'm guilty of the same methods of speech, but I believe I'm more conscious about how I express myself compared to other people, mostly civilians. It's a reason I fit in in the military so well.

So first, I want to discuss what I call "safe words." No, it's not a sex thing. But, whether intentionally or not, it has a similar effect, just in the context of speech. It might not be the best name for what I describe, but it does serve its purpose. Anyway, I describe safe words as words we use that could be taken out of a sentence and would remove no meaning. For example:

"Dude, I kinda like that," Versus: "Dude, I like that."

In this case, it seems like there is a difference in what the speaker means. But, there is no difference. The person saying this means the same thing in both variations of the sentence. I nearly did the same problem just now when I typed "This person saying this means the exact same thing..." because I thought 'exact' would make a difference in what I meant, but it wouldn't have.

This is what a safe word is. It may appear to change the meaning of an expression, but removing the safe word and analyzing the sentence while considering the intent behind it reveals that it's pointless.

Next, I want to talk about the cause for the majority of the occurrences of safe words in our sentences. I believe the leading cause for safe words is the same as why we say "umm:" We think of what we mean to say on the fly. This is only a different kind of it. If we thought of what we meant to say every time before we said it, it would be like compressing the file size of every sentence.

But, is any of this so bad? In instances like mine, where being to the point in a professional environment is important, then yes. However, maximizing the efficiency of our sentences only matters if the environment requires it. Leisurely conversation does not, and oftentimes, when we talk with other people in a leisurely environment, we're not dying for someone to get to the point. If in every instance where conversation takes place we require utmost efficiency, personality and style would be severely hindered.

And not every conversation necessarily needs a point to get to, either. Talking with other people is fulfilling in its own right, so it doesn't always matter what the topic of discussion is.

So to top this all off (like some kind of english essay), I'm frustrated with people not getting to the point in leisurely situations sometimes. But maybe I should grow a spine, because it doesn't matter until it does. Have a good one!